Conducted Communication Skills programme at Hotel The REsidency, Coimbatore. The programme was well received. A point I made was that people are like diamonds. Like diamonds, people have three Cs. The three Cs in diamondare Carat, Clarity and Cut. Carat Competence, Clarity is Character. These are to be verified before hiring. But Cut is the Conversion of the raw uncut stone into a sparkling muti-faceted and brilliant stone that is an adornment!
It is this area that managers need to be particularly attentive. We have it in us to either carefully chisel a person or to rudely smash him. Our tools are words. Good evaluations that praise and then offer suggestions for improvement are like chisels that polish and finish the stone. Rude and excessively negative criticism is like a hammer thst breaks.
Are we skilled diamantaries, or are we unskilled and rude workers who smash and destroy. The choice as usual is with us. The choice is in the words we us!
Another crucial skill that we miss out on is the need to use Pleasing words! This is especially so when we give feedback to our colleagues, spouse, children and others. While giving negative feedback or describing shortcomings, we prefer to use blunt and sometimes harsh words which could be counterproductive! Our immediate justification is that by being blunt, we are actually benefitting the other person. Yes, flattery and euphemism would definitely get us nowhere. But, should we choose harsh words when pleasing words are available? Thiruvalluvar gives the analogy of a fruit tree. You behold a fruit tree with both luscious ripe fruit as well as bitter unripe ones. Tell me, which one would you choose? What an idiotic question, right? The ripe ones, obviously! Then why is it not equally obvious that when we have a choice of using harsh words or pleasing words, we invariably choose the former?
Here is the relevant Kural:
“Behold the man who uses harsh words when sweet ones are at hand; he prefers the unripe fruit to the ripe! (10:10)”
Most of us see the use of Pleasing words as a weakness. It is not necessarily so. Loud voices need not be strong. A soft voice may hide extraordinary strength of purpose. Think of a material that is both soft and tough. Yes! The answer is silk! Silk is arguably the softest material to ouch! But, try to break a single strand of silk with your bare hands; the chances are that you will cut your fingers! Polite yet firm is the secret of effective communication. Shouting and abusing will instill fear, no doubt, but only in the way a donkey is afraid of its master. But a soft yet firm voice would ensure that the other person understands the position clearly and is still not hurt by the words.
In conclusion, Effective Communication is a tool for Collaboration and is one of the key ingredients of great managerial performance! Let’s be like Silk, soft yet strong!
Here is the relevant Kural:
“Behold the man who uses harsh words when sweet ones are at hand; he prefers the unripe fruit to the ripe! (10:10)”
Most of us see the use of Pleasing words as a weakness. It is not necessarily so. Loud voices need not be strong. A soft voice may hide extraordinary strength of purpose. Think of a material that is both soft and tough. Yes! The answer is silk! Silk is arguably the softest material to ouch! But, try to break a single strand of silk with your bare hands; the chances are that you will cut your fingers! Polite yet firm is the secret of effective communication. Shouting and abusing will instill fear, no doubt, but only in the way a donkey is afraid of its master. But a soft yet firm voice would ensure that the other person understands the position clearly and is still not hurt by the words.
In conclusion, Effective Communication is a tool for Collaboration and is one of the key ingredients of great managerial performance! Let’s be like Silk, soft yet strong!
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