Thoughts on Communication

Communication is multi-layered and multi-dimensional. People express themselves in layers. At the top most layer of the discovery process are “facts.” Stuff we put into forms and documkents. Below this is slightly complex inteelectual sheath that shares thoughts and opinions. And finally you have an emotional ore feeling circle. Further thoughts are ometimes expressed verbally and expressly. Sometimes thoughts are not shared at all. Emotions too are suppressed totally in socially driven culture where what others think matters more than what we truly want to do.

Inspirational leaders continuously sharpen the saw and learn to hone their communication skills. They no longer see people and their communication as black and white; they are able to see rich color and 3D images that bring out the underlying thoughts and emotions. They are also able to detect suppressed emotions pretty fast and help the other party to articulate and express them. When the issue is out it becomes an object available for analysis and resolution.

TEXMO Program on High Performance Supervisory Skills

30.06.2010

I am in Coimbatrore. It’s quite hot here. But there is a nice chilly wind blowing down from the mountains all around..

I am here to train the supervisors and managers at TEXMO Industry

I ran one of my usual activities which involves participants forming groups and making an article that is both functional and aesthetic. Once the participants were informed that there would be a penalty for drawing extra shhets of card board or color paper, they did these things:

· Planned and decided with clarity what they were going to do and decided how much cardboard they would need.

· Drew resources very carefully.

The MD of Texmo Mrs. Ramachandran took time off from her busy schedule to sit in on most of the sessions lending her views and perspectives on issues and coverage. The participants expressed great enthusiasm during the program. But , the comment that truly made me feel satisfied was the one made by Mr. S Duraiswamy, the Works Manager: He quoted the following Kural in praise of my delivery:

Behold the speech that seeks (to express) elements as bind friends and is so delivered as to make even the indifferent to listen with desire to know more. (Kural 643 Ch.65:V.3)

I have transliterated the Kural here keeping in mind the broad meaning. Surprisingly both Drew and Lazarus and V.V.S. Aiyar (my favorite) use the word “enemies” where I have used the indifferent. In my humble view, enemies would listen with interest to counter us. Those who are bored or indifferent are the real challenge for a good speaker. To make them want to hear us is the real arguably an achievement worth the effort.

Purity of Thought

Speech Sullies thought.

The purest thoughts are made unclean as they are stated in words spoken or written.

Conceptualization loses in verbalization.

Communication, then, is the process of improving the efficiency in conversion pf pure thoughts human sensible words.

Sreesri

Fluency

This happened about ten years ago. The scene is the senior executive committee meeting of a large Multinational Company. Those assembled are the select group who are being groomed for taking up top management positions. The discussion is on future trends in the FMCG sector in developing countries. Many ideas are being thrown up and seriously discussed, including those on new products and innovative packaging.

Rajeev mehra, (fictional name) is somewhat silent. A great performer on the job, he believes that actions speak louder than words. His last quarter sales figures are stupendous. Suddenly, this 38 year old Engineer and MBA from reputed B School has a flash of inspiration. He realizes that developing countries like India and Pakistan have a huge rural segment who are not yet aware of toothpaste and soap. Hitherto all FMCG companies including his own had concentrated on urban markets which were essentially saturated. Moreover brand loyalties were high among urban customers and weaning t hem away from competitors was simply impossible or needed high adspend and publicity budgets. So…attack the rural customer and expand the pie. A great idea? But Rajeev suddenly had second thoughts, then third thoughts and finally decided that the idea was too silly to be mentioned to this elite group of seasoned Managers. So he kept quiet.

Hardly, half an hour later, Sunil Vohra (fictional name), another younger manager who was in the shortlist for a promotion along with Rajeev stood up and propounded the Rural Market penetration theory! This was received with acclamation and applause. Sunil was asked to give a presentation in the afternoon and then made the Team Leader of a task force for implementing the concept. He finally moved on to become VP.

Fluency is the ability to convert ideas and thoughts from the conceptual to the verbal dimension. People who have this ability succeed simply because they speak up!

Let me end this post with a quote from an essay titled Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) a great and profound thinker and writer:

“A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within…Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humoured inflexibility…Else tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.”

Lord Rama—A Role model for Communication

25.03.2010

Yesterday was Sree Rama Navami. I was performing pooja. As part of the ceremony, I was chanting the Ashtothra Satha Namavali or the 108 holy names of Lord Rama, when I came across these three names of Rama that intrigued me as trainer. A little bit of research with the Apte Sanskrit-English dictionary and a conversation with my relative Mr. G Ramachandran, who is well versed in Sanskrit, gave me better understanding of these mames. I would like to share them with you because, understandsing the essesnce of these names would show us how to become better communicators. In this sense, Sree Rama is the best Role Model for Advanced Communicators.

Om Smithavakthraya Namah

He who has an ever-smiling face. Smitha means smile. Vakthra is face or mouth. We like someone who is smiling. Please do not confuse a genuine warm smile with a sarcastic one that actually irritates people.

This is a gentle upward turn of the lips that is reflected in the eyes as well as in the forward movement of the head and trunk. Have you seen the smile I mean? One that makes you want to reach out to that person and get to know them better?

This is the smile that wins friends and influences people! It enabled Sree Rama to find allies and friends everywhere. Sree Rama had so many of them. And, what variety…Tribals like Guha, Monkeys like Sugreev and Demons like Vibheeshan, and scores of animals and birds that flocked together to assist Rama during his Vanvas. There are so many instances where characters in Ramayan claim that they are drawn to Sree Rama because of his smiling countenance.

Om Poorvabhashiney Namaha

He who speaks first. Poorva means first or before. Bhasha is, of course, speech or language. Sree Rama was one who spoke first. Remember, Sree Rama was a king whether in exile or otherwise. He could have had an attitude that was aloof and distant. He could have refused to speak to people unless introduced. But he was not like that at all. He spoke first!

He greeted them openly and with genuine interest. He enquired after their welfare. He hugged them and called them his brother. And they, in turn, shared their innermost thoughts with him.

Om Mitha Bhasiney Namaha

One who speaks with moderation . Mitha means measured or moderate. This is not the same as being taciturn or tight-lipped. This is knowing when to stop talking and become a goods listener. Sree Rama did not talk on ad on and on. He knew when to stop and allow the other person to complete his message.

He thought before he spoke so that when he spoke his words were the soul of brevity. The only other person in the Ramayan who was his equal in brevity and communicating more with less words was Sree Hanumanji with his world famous, “Karpukiniyaalai Kanden Seetaiyai..” (I saw her, she who is beautiful through chastity, Seetha). But, no true devotee of Rama or Hanuman can ever distinguish between the two!

The Four Secrets of Inspirational Leaders

Inspirational Leaders have been able to consistently influence their teams and others. They have been able to

1. Communicate their vision to others,
2. Convert it into executable plans of action,
3. Identify the right people for each task and finally
4. Review progress and monitor the plan till the attainment of the final goal.

What I have described above is the approach. Successful application of this approach requires the development of four crucial abilities. A manager who is taught the above approach (well, most of us know them already!) would assume that mechanically going through the motions of this approach should automatically result in success! Well, I wish it were that simple!

What great Inspirational Leaders bring to the table are four ingredients that make the difference. These are four abilities. These are essential in the same way that knowledge of Trigonometry is essential for engineering and Compounding is for Finance. These subjects, unfortunately, are not (yet!) being taught systematically in schools in the same way that math and basic science are being drilled into our children. Think about it… your son or daughter is going to need these abilities most after the age of twenty-five and what they are learning in school today is really doing nothing to help them then. Their employers are going to spend a huge amount of money teaching them and trainers like me are going to have to design newer and newer methods to help adult learners internalize these concepts which are easily taught and absorbed at the primary school level. What are these abilities?

• Fluency

o The ability to express concepts and abstract ideas in a way that makes it easier for the other person to understand them and talk about them. We are not talking about oratory or rhetoric here. This is about more mundane issues like clarity, brevity and using a pleasant tone of voice and (you are not going to believe this!) smiling.

• Listening
• Too much importance cannot be given to this ability which also one of the three crucial “skills” that managers do not learn but Leaders do. Listening demands a slowing down and cooling down that is seen in today’s aggressive world as a weakness. Possibly why managers easily forget their vital lessons on listening and slip back to their easier and obviously impressive “fast” approaches.”
• Feedback
• The ability to accept that we are not perfect and that there is always scope for improvement. The further realization that the best way to improve is to listen to what others have to say about us and, like the proverbial swan take the good suggestions for improvement and ignore, forget or forgive the rest. Finally, having the maturity to learn how to give effective, useful, non-emotive feedback to others thus helping them perform better.
• Empathy
• The ability to feel and understand the feelings of others. A sensitization to others feelings is a sign of leadership and also a condition for its attainment. Does this mean that we have to be “weak” and always concerned about others? No! This is NOT a way of living. This is a drill-down capability; a tool that you use on need basis. You use it to pause and understand totally what the other person is saying “from their point of view”. Thereafter you go ahead and use the other tool (Remember the first ability?) of Fluency to help them understand why what you are proposing is as better for them as it is for you.

Communication Skills Programme-Manali Petro

Conducted a full-day program on Communication Skills and Supervisory Development for the Executives of Manali Petro Chemicals Limited. Tis was again a bunch of young and energetic executives who were highly enthusiastic and participated quite interactively. The average age was twenty-five to twenty-six years.

I covered concepts like Barrrriers, Filters and Listening skills. The Geometric Shapes activity was very useful for understanding the nuances of communication and its attributes.

The feedback was heartening. On the whole, a satisfying day.

River in the Backyard!

I was in Kerala on on 16th May conducting a "Communication Skills" Program for the executives of MIL Controls (India) Limited. MIL Controls is a leading supplier of Control Valves to various industries, particularly the energy sector. The valves manufactured by them are high precision contrlo instruments that are pivotal in any boiler installation or any other application where there is a need to control the flow of any substance in terms of pressure, volume or heat. Originally a joint venture between Best & CRompton and Masonelian (India) Limited, in 1997 it became a part of the KSB, a German  groupwith international brand in pumps and valves.

The factory is built on a sprawling 23c acre piece of land right in the middle of "God's Own Country", Kerala at Meladoor  (Male-uh-Door(OO as in Room) about 4 kms from Mala. Though Meladoor is in Thrissur district, it is nearer to Aluva which is just 14 kms away.

I stayed at their guest house at Aluva in a place called Periar Gardens, adjacent to the banks of the river Periyar. In fact from the garden at the rear of the Guest house I had a pleasant view of the wide periyar river.

Communication Skills - Coimbatore

Conducted Communication Skills programme at Hotel The REsidency, Coimbatore. The programme was well received. A point I made was that people are like diamonds. Like diamonds, people have three Cs. The three Cs in diamondare Carat, Clarity and Cut. Carat Competence, Clarity is Character. These are to be verified before hiring. But Cut is the Conversion of the raw uncut stone into a sparkling muti-faceted and brilliant stone that is an adornment!

It is this area that managers need to be particularly attentive. We have it in us to either carefully chisel a person or to rudely smash him. Our tools are words. Good evaluations that praise and then offer suggestions for improvement are like chisels that polish and finish the stone. Rude and excessively negative criticism is like a hammer thst breaks.

Are we skilled diamantaries, or are we unskilled and rude workers who smash and destroy. The choice as usual is with us. The choice is in the words we us!

Another crucial skill that we miss out on is the need to use Pleasing words! This is especially so when we give feedback to our colleagues, spouse, children and others. While giving negative feedback or describing shortcomings, we prefer to use blunt and sometimes harsh words which could be counterproductive! Our immediate justification is that by being blunt, we are actually benefitting the other person. Yes, flattery and euphemism would definitely get us nowhere. But, should we choose harsh words when pleasing words are available? Thiruvalluvar gives the analogy of a fruit tree. You behold a fruit tree with both luscious ripe fruit as well as bitter unripe ones. Tell me, which one would you choose? What an idiotic question, right? The ripe ones, obviously! Then why is it not equally obvious that when we have a choice of using harsh words or pleasing words, we invariably choose the former?

Here is the relevant Kural:

“Behold the man who uses harsh words when sweet ones are at hand; he prefers the unripe fruit to the ripe! (10:10)”

Most of us see the use of Pleasing words as a weakness. It is not necessarily so. Loud voices need not be strong. A soft voice may hide extraordinary strength of purpose. Think of a material that is both soft and tough. Yes! The answer is silk! Silk is arguably the softest material to ouch! But, try to break a single strand of silk with your bare hands; the chances are that you will cut your fingers! Polite yet firm is the secret of effective communication. Shouting and abusing will instill fear, no doubt, but only in the way a donkey is afraid of its master. But a soft yet firm voice would ensure that the other person understands the position clearly and is still not hurt by the words.

In conclusion, Effective Communication is a tool for Collaboration and is one of the key ingredients of great managerial performance! Let’s be like Silk, soft yet strong!

A Sweet Interlude

10.10.2008

Visited the factory of Parfetti Van Melle to conduct a programme on “Basic Communication Skills”. The participants were quite young and sensitive to the need for honing their communication skills. As the workshop had numerous “fun activities” the learning was experiential and relevant. Most of the concepts I discussed were based on challenges faced in day-to-day work as an executive.

Mr. Jawahar Michael, the HRD Head gave me a few insights into the particular needs of the target group. This helped me to tune my delivery.

Immediately after the Lunch break, as the participants were assembling inside the hall, I casually enquired if they had found the session, till then had been useful. All of them confirmed that it had been useful. One of the participants, Mr. Mukesh Agarwal, a gentleman from Jharkhand was kind enough to share his experience in applying the learning on the work spot! He is a part of the purchase team and as such was responsible for supplier deliveries and quality. It is a well known phenomenon almost everywhere for purchase to constantly harangue and argue with suppliers. This time Mr. Mukesh took a leap of faith based on my suggestion that communication can be soft yet firm. He reported that when he adopted this approach, the supplier who had hitherto been somewhat unresponsive had replied responsibly and had agreed to a committed course of action for resolving the issue! This, obviously, gratified me a lot as most trainers like me sincerely want the learning from our workshops to be actually applied on the job!

While training, I don’t advocate what I have not practiced myself. When a behavioral approach works, I try to make it generic by identifying the reasons that made the approach work. These characteristics of the solution are then packaged into presentations, activities and usable content.

Active Listening

Listening is rightly denominated the motherskill in communication. In fact the ability to listen distinguishes the great fcommuncators from the merely good. Active Listening is the art of listening with full concentration so as to completely understand what the speaker is saying. It enables effectiveness and Stephen Covey advocates Active Listening as an important ingredient for practicing the 5th Habit - Seek First to Understand Then to be Understood.

Here are FIVE Simple Tips for becoming an Active Listener:

1. Allow the other person to complete his entire message.
   
2. Don’t Interrupt. But provide Verbal and Non-Verbal Support.
   Example: Nodding, Smile, prompting, Open body position, Forward movement of the Head and Trunk
3. Take Notes continuously.
4. After the other person has spoken fully ask Clarificatory and Open Ended Questions
5. Summarize the understanding clearly.

Evaluation- The cornerstone of Toastmasters!

03.08.2008

I was the Table Topics Evaluator at ny Toastmaster Club meeting today. The speakers were above average and I sincerely hope I gave them good feedback. Incidentally, they gave me the best evaluator ribbon!

Here are some tips on good evalation techniques I heard at the Education session on Evaluation conducted by DTM Manian, a senior Toastmaster from Bangalore:

• Evaluation is the cornerstone of the Toastmasters Edifice.


• Evaluators are not specialists, but rather ordinary people giving feedback and learning in that process the art of giving constructive feedback.


• An evaluator should ask the speaker, beforehand, whether there are any specific inputs they would like to have on their delivery or content.


• The speaker deserves the evaluator's service. The Evaluator owes him three and a half minutes, which is the time allotted for evaluation.


• 6o% of the time, your evaluation should be positive and full of praise for the good things the speaker said or did; 30% of the time should be pointing out the possibilities for improvement in a constructive manner; the remaining 20% should give suggestions for inprovement.


• An Evaluation should also have a begining body and conclusion.


• Keep on noting down positive points because 60% of your time should be postive and constructive.


• Don't keep on carping on negatives.


• Begin with a quotation that is relevant.


• You can use notes.


• Your Summation carries 15 marks, so sum up the evaluation. Summing up should mention positive points, shortcomings and suggestions. Mention that you are going to sum up your evaluation!


• An analytical approach should be preferred.

Oral Vs. Verbal Vs. Aural

In verbal communication we include both ORAL & WRITTEN communication. But, generally verbal means only oral. So what is the logic behind that?
In today's class (22-06-2008), you explained regarding verbal and non verbal communication. You said that 'when thoughts are explained through words, then it is called as verbal communications', and it can be oral or written. If so, Why Para language is sub-headed under non-verbal communication, sir? Does Para language and oral communication have some relation?
These two questions are related to each other so they are answered together.

Let us first understand what these words mean.

Oral means pertaining to the mouth. This means Oral communication relates to words that are spoken rather than written. The word is derived from the Latin oralis, ‘of the mouth’. Thus an oral examination is one where the answers are spoken and not written.
Verbal means pertaining to words spoken or written. The predominant sense here is that words are used rather than sounds or gestures. Thus any communication that uses words whether spoken or written is Verbal.

The adjective verbal is sometimes used when what is really meant is oral. The phrase verbal agreement is particularly notorious in this regard. People use it to mean a spoken agreement, when all it really means is ‘an agreement in words.’ A verbal agreement could accordingly, in writing or by words spoken. In this sense, the word verbal is related to Express i. e. by words spoken or written.

If you want to refer to an agreement entered into by word of mouth or by speech only then you should refer to it as an oral agreement or simply a spoken agreement.

Yes! Both Para Language and Oral Communication have a link with the mouth. Both are based on sound. But Oral Communication is the use of words spoken while Para-language is the use and interpretation of attributes of sounds such as the volume, pitch, speed, tone etc., Thus Para-Language is not verbal as it does not involve words. Therefore it is classified as Non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication also involves interpretation and use of gestures, eye contact, posture etc.,

There is one more word Aural, which pertains to the ear. Words that are spoken can be heard. So Aural can also be used where you want to say spoken by word of mouth.

Nature's Language

I handled Life Skills sessions for the Articled clerks at the Smart Trainees Programme conducted by Prime Academy. The programme mainly focused on improving their skills on the job.

The group of about twelve people were quite receptive and highly interactive. They raised many critical questions.

For example Joseph one of the participants asked me the meaning of "Nature's Language!"

Elsewhere in this Blog I have given my transliteration of the popular tamil lyric from the feature film Mozhi. As I was reciting these words to them, Joseph ventured this question.

I asked how many of them came from suburban areas like Nangnallur, Madipakkam etc., A few hands went up. Then I told them to wake up at around 5:00 AM and go up to their terrace. There they should attempt to listen to the birds. In the still and silent morning hour the strident birdsong is a melody of medley. After sometime each note is discerned as unique. After a couple of days of this abhyaas or practice each individual bird can be identified by its note.

Another way to discern nature's language is go to the seashore and listen to the sea. At first, the waves appear to be beating against the shore erratically . Later we can sense the rhythm of this beat and the perceptible half minute of deep resonating silence between two wave falls! When we can listen to this central silence we are in the very lap of the Sea Mother. All cares, concerns and emotional unrest slowly subside and as the all pervading calmness takes over we can reach into deeper reserves of strength within us! The languge of the sea is different in different locales. I have heard different rhythms at Puducherry, Kanyakumari, Goa and Trivandrum. No two beaches have the same rhythm.

Check out these two activities and once you can discern Nature's language, the tongues of men are indeed of no conern!

ICAI GMCS

Here is the group photo of the 27th batch of the General Management & Communications Skills Programme conducted for the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India at Chennai by IMS Learning Resources. I am a faculty on this programme.

Participants are budding CAs who have to go through this 15 day intervention to acquire much needed Communication Skills.