The Flute and the Football

This is a nice story related by Mr. T R Pachamuthu, Chancellor, SRM University in his acceptance speech on receiving the For The Sake of Honor Award from my Rotary Club:

The flute and the football went to God. The football complained that although both of them were essentially filled with air in order to perform their duties, the flute was kissed while it was kicked. God smiled and said, “ You take in all the air and keep it inside, while flute gives out everything that it gets. No wonder that you are kicked and it is kissed!”

I liked this story and related it at a seminar on the Seven Habits at Chennai. I was giving the participants who were senior Chartered Accountants an overview of the Seven Habits and my own experiences in internalizing them. I repeated this story in the context of Being Proactive. One of the participants Mr. Sekhar a Chartered Accountant gave a different take on this story. He made the point that the football could never follow God’s advice because its role demanded that it retained the air. The role of the flute as a corollary precludes retaining even an mg. of air that it gets. He brought out clearly the need for role clarity without unnecessary emotional overtones.

I continue to marvel at how different people view the same thing so differently!

Six Steps to Success

I delivered a speeech on "The Six Steps to Success" at the Sindhi Chamber of Commerce on 24th November 2010. This is a gist of the speech.

These thoughts are based on more than a decade of practice of and contemplation on the Seven Habits of highly Effective people. As I started implementing the 7 Habits in my life, things fell in place. My definition of success underwent subtle yet vital changes. Further contemplation and discussions with other eminent trainers, thinkers and corporate leaders has led me to formulate this action plan. As you will agree there are lot of theories and “instructions” on how to succeed. Most of these “self-help” books are written by arm-chair consultants who have not tested strength of their own theories on the anvil of experience and practice. Moreover, exhortations to think positive are invariably useless because after building up the positive energy, the direction is not there and the energy simply disappears. So, these six steps are a “how-to-do-manual” rather than a “what-is-it?” theory.

Share the Same Picture

Most of the time employers and employees are not on the same page. They are referring to different paradigms or perceptions. It is therefore necessary to listen and understand and thereafter clearly state what we expect from the other person so that he or she is crystal clear on her task.

Choose the Right Response

There are many ways in which we react to a situation. But, there is only one Right Response. The Right Response is that which helps you and the other person to achieve your goals in a sustainable way. It is not necessarily the obvious response. It may not be the easy response. But it is that single response that will build long term relationships while at the same time achieving short term needs-based goals. To choose the Right Response, we should not allow our emotional brain to take over. We should rather be slow to react, think and then choose those words or actions that are the most meaningful and productive in the circumstances.

Have a Bias for Action

All said and done, more is said than done! This step is the ultimate clarion call to action. The very same thoyght is expressed in Bhagwan Sree Krishna’s words in the Baghavad Gita: “Tasmath Yudyasva Bharatha!” –“Therefore, fight O son of Bharat!”. We are so busy weighing the pros and cons of an opportunity or crisis. In the mean time the opportunity is lost or the crisis becomes uncontrollable. So doing something is far better than sitting idle! We can always learn from our mistakes and ensure that the next time we get it right.

Make Every Minute Count

God has given us a great gift: Time! Everything happens in time. Time is indestructible, unending and irretrievable if lost. Money lost can be earned again. Every possession is replaceable or will bew seen ultimately as worthless. But we are doing now this moment is priceless. It is our only tangible possession! Thus, if we concentrate on the minutes the hours will take care of themselves. Successful people constantly review time usage and waste. What we are doing at any given point in time should either benefit our individual growth and development; or it should benefit our family; or it should benefit our organization; or it should be beneficial to society at large. Otherwise, why are we doing it! This is the simple approach to time management that goes beyond diaries and planners!

Inspire by Example

I was conducting a Mentoring program at a large corporation recently. During the sessions one thing that emerged from both Mentors and Mentees was that the Mentees look upon the Mentors as Role Models. The Mentors too accept that their true influence was when they demonstrated ideal behaviour. Advice was a waste. Anyone can give advice. Only leaders have the guts to follow their own advice! This is summed up by Mahatma Gandhi in his words: “My Life is my Message.” What message will our life communicate?

Embrace Change

From the late eighties onwards one word that dominated industry and commerce was “quality”. But the next two decades of the new millennium will give more emphasize on the word “innovation”. This does not mean quality will take a back seat. No way! But, quality is a given. The constantly increasing rate of change would mean that corporations and individuklas would need to constantly keep redefining themselves to succeed in a changing world. Otherwise we may be left stranded in the side lines of progress. So the right response here is to “embrace change” willingly and voluntarily rather than resist it or follow suit when others change. Those people who are at the cutting edge of change would definitely reap the rewards.

In conclusion, we can say that these six steps are cyclical. After reaching a certain level of success, we should embrace change and create a new vision. This vision should be shared with our teams and again we will start the journey to the next height! Let me conclude with the immortal words of Rabindranath Tagore and pray that in our country, “tireless striving will stretch its arms towards perfection!’

Metamorphosis

One of the participants at the Finance for Non-Finance Executives Program was commenting that more Chartered Accountants were becoming CEOs. I had to agree to that. I also observed that all managers go through a pupa-like phase in their career when they metamorphose and become butterflies. They theresfter totally sever their connections with their erstwhile functional identities. Like the butterfly they are aware that they were once a chrysalis and like the colorful they cannot now go back to being something lesser than what they are now. It is these metamorphosed Chartered Accountants who ultimately become CEO.

Proving yourself

Every time the World tells you, "You can't" the loudest way to tell the world to shut up is to produce results.

Every time they say "You can" acknowledge by proving them right.

WIN/WIN--Analyzing the Consequences

23.06.2010

Sriram and I also had a discussion about the WIN/WIN thought process. Many proposals seem great at first flush. We see the obvious WIN for us in it. We try to convince ourselves and the other party that it is WIN for them too. And we claim it’s a WIN/WIN deal. Later when conflict breaks out it will be exactly in those areas that we refused or failed to address originally. Those issues that we brushedaway under the carpet will now rise up as insurmountable obstacles to completing the deal.

WIN/WIN is about analyzing the consequences and then the consequences of the consequences. After assuring ourselves of the long term sustainability of the WIN/WIN proposition we say “Deal!” If there is a possibility that the situation is likely to become LOSE/WIN or LOSE/LOSE it is better to say “WIN/WIN or No Deal!” politely shake hands with the other party and walk away!

Sharing knowledge is a great WIN/WIN! When you have one apple, I have one apple and we exchange both of us have only one apple each. But when you have one idea and I have one too, and we exchange, we have two ideas each.

Arjuna's Paradigm Shift

23.06.2010

I have been recommending the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People as propounded by Stephen R Covey to Mr. K Sriram executive taxation at Ma Foi. He has sincerely taken up a reading of the book. Today, while speaking to me, he expressed the view that after reading the first chapter of the book, he has experienced a Paradigm Shift. He was able to look at his long term goals and aspirations from a totally different perspective. I gave him some more inputs on this, especially about the Maturity Continuum and the need to internalize the private Victories that take us from Dependence to independence first. Thereafter we are ready to transition through Habits four, five and six to attain the Public Victories and thereby appreciate the need for Interdependence.

Sriram felt that the transformation that Arjun under goes around the middle of the second chapter is a Paradigm Shift. Arjuna’s problem or the Arjuna Problem as Swmi Chinmayanandaji calls it is typical and not essentially different from the problems of a professional or of an executive in a large corporation. Before we can even start the therapy or the Krishna Solution, there is a need for a shift in Paradigm from a self centric, money centric or even family centric one to the Principle Centric Paradigm. This is the Shreyas that Arjun asks of Krishna in Chapter II Verse 7 of The Gita. Do you notice that he is asking for that which is “Shreyas” or the “Best and Unalloyed Good”. Thus he is actually asking not only for himself but for all of us.

Being Misled

Another query that came up at the MSOP programme was about being misled by someone and how to get out of it. Here are the suggestions I gave:

· Intellectual Approach

Examine the Pros and Cons of the circumstance and the possible advantages of associating with the person misleading us as against the detriment. If there is temporary benefit, it is better to continue and withdraw when the need is no longer present. This is pure Kutilya or Arthsastra! Very difficult to follow and sometimes seen as being worse than being misled!

· Emotional Detachment

Most of the time, we know that we are being misled. But we are emotionally attached to the person, so we accept the situation rather than walk away or address it suitably.

· Consulting a Mentor

A Mentor can help us analyze the pros and cons and also bring the detachment required for the intellectual approach.

Positive Expansions

Nice Expansions of words that we frequently consider to be negative:

NO = Next Opportunity

END = Efforts Never Die

Ultimate Learning--To learn from people we dislike

29.05.2010

Prof V H Iyer renowned consultant from Mumbai was in Chennai today. He is a senior faculty of the Management Study Centre at Mumbai. We had invited him to our the Centre and he had consented to do so in spite of his busy schedule. We received him today at 11:30 AM.

Prof. V H Iyer is on the board of various companies and Government Depts like Indian Council for Agricultural Research, and is currently Dean of the Prince Welingkar Institute of Management Mumbai. Prof. Iyer is an internationally recognized authority on Materials Management and Lean Principles.

During the chat we had in my cabin, Prof. Iyer spoke about a book that he has conceived and is proposing to write. He is basically from a family of Tanjore Brahmins who moved to Palghat a long time ago. His family had moved again from Nurani, a famous village in Palghat to Burma where prof. Iyer was born and had spent his early childhood. During WW II when Burma was evacuated, Prof. Iyer had had to flee Burma and spent two years in a refugee camp. He is planning to write about his experiences from Refugee camp to where he is now.

The book would not be autobiographical. It would be a document of his experiential learning over a long period and his thoughts about people he had met and worked with.

Prof. Iyer remarked that we can learn from everyone, including people we dislike! He gave the example of an OR Professor in his B School who was so insulting that she was universally disliked. Prof. Iyer says he learnt many tips on ‘how not to teach’ from her!

Difficult Behavior

On 28^th May I attended a “Management Show” at British Council on Handling Difficult People. There were about thirty people. The facilitator divided us into six groups.

She began by asking us to list out as a group various categories of difficult people we meet in the work place. Some of the categories that emerged were Detractors, Deviators, Non-Communicators, Procrastinators and the Manipulative.

(One interesting comment was about a boss who was unfocused. The participant stated t that the boss was focused in many directions!)

We were then asked to answer the following questions:

1. How do you feel when you experience difficult behavior?

It stresses you. It affects your poise. It brings out the negative in you. Sometimes you become a difficult person yourself!

2. Whose problem is the difficult behavior?

It is essentially the other person’s problem but it is ours too if it will affect achievement of the long term goals of the organization or if we have to work with the difficult person to perform our organizational role.

3. Should difficult behavior be confronted?

Yes. But we redefined the word “to confront” and decided that difficult behavior should be addressed suitably through dialogue or counseling. But confrontation should be avoided when it would worsen the situation.

One of the issues we discussed was about the nature of the difficult behavior which could be Cultural, Personilty or Behavioral. The current session dealt only with bwehavioral. We accepted that personality should not be discussed while addressing difficult behavior. What need to be addressed are specific behavioral issues. I added that, ‘we should address what the person is doing, and not what he or she is.’

The trainer thereafter played a brief video prepared by Fenman Management Training. In this video Philip a Management Consultant handles a difficult person, the head of another team who is demanding and incapable of being satisfied.

The video also gave us a four step approach for handling difficult people, which involved assessing, analyzing, asserting and finally formalizing a Deal by assenting.

Due to insufficiency of time and the trainer’s own inability to relate to the essence of the issue, the practicing managers in the audience felt we had not truly got a handle on how to deal with difficult people.

Who are your True Friends?

Who are our true friends? Are they the ones who comfort us when we fail and use facile and pleasing words to justify our inability? Or are they the ones who are blunt and matter of fact in pointing out to us where we went wrong even at the cost of bruising our ego and sometimes the friendship? As usual, I have no answers except to say that the True Friend strikes the Golden Mean of Aristotle. He is not rude but he is firm. He doesn’t ignore our faults and failures but doesn’t rub our noses in them either.

I used to be a friend who was blunt and rude in pointing out flaws. Then I realized that this was a great way of losing friendship! Today, I am polite and careful while speaking my mind to a friend about his decision or action. I am gentle and try advocacy rather than brute force and argument. Still, I feel sometimes friends should not venture opinions unless asked to do so.

But, when I need good counsel, I seek out those who can be blunt and clear with me. Like the surgeon who wields a sharp instrument to cure, these good friends use their words to guide me on the paths of wisdom, righteousness and achievement that is truly fulfilling.

Few Things to Follow

This is a nice poster I saw in Kohima, Nagaland

Elevators- Up or Down?

07.02.2010

I spent a leisurely morning with my Family. Around One, we went out for lunch at Ashvitha a new multi-cuisine restaurant. Located in a huge renovated bungalow on a lane off Dr. Radhakrishnan Salai, the restaurant has a unique ambience. The tables placed on the verandah around the main house are comfortable and surrounded by greenery and flowering plants. (Whether this will work in high summer?)

A fountain tinkles nearby and adds to the general calmness of the place. The building houses more air conditioned rooms and displays of books, jewellery and soft furnishing for the discerning and extremely tasteful guest.

They serve five different platters with unlimited helpings. The food was good and filling.

While we were eating, my son related this story:

The man who invented and manufactured elevators for the first time ever, found that they were too slow. People simply did not want to use them. Even after improving speeds, elevators were not popular. He was incurring heavy losses. Suddenly he had a brain wave and did something that not only made elevators extremely popular but also resulted in people thinking that that they were too fast! Do you know what he did/

Well, he simply fixed full length mirrors on the walls of the elevator. People were so busy looking at themselves that they thought they had reached their floor too early!

The man, of course was Otis!

This tale is a classic example of perseverance, creativity as well as lateral thinking in problem solving. But, there is also a lesson here about the human proclivity for Narcissistic behavior.

Corporate Etiquette

Conducted a programme on Corporate Etiquette for the executives of Larsen & Toubro. These were not freshers but a group of reasonably experienced engineers who were quite energetic and interactive. I enjoyed sharing the nuances of grooming and manners witth them.

But I definitely and emphatically made the point that while external appearance is important for making positive first impressions, an internal clarity as to values and integrity was also an essential root to corporate success.

The role play on specific inter personal situations was well demonstrated. I could understand why organizational cultures such those prevailing at L&T can enable high performance and team co ordination.

Mrs. Amala, the HR co-ordinator was extremely supportive and helped make the session relevant t o the audience. Another lady who impressed me was Ms. Lakshana who has done her MBA from IIPM. Mr. Murali was also adding a lot of value to the session.

Role -Goal Analysis

Last week was spent handling training sessions for the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India addressing budding CAs on issues like Professional Ethics and Changing Roles. I covered Goal Setting on the 7th. I was explaining Role-Goal Analysis and as part of the inputs, I shared my own Mission Statement, which I had crafted and Drafted as part of my Seven Habits Practice in 1999.

I was implementing the second habit, Begin With the End in Mind in 1998 and I had defined my mission for myself clearly identifying the End in Mind. This Mission Statement was subjected to an extreme review and re-evaluation in 2009. I am using 2010 to pause and reorient it, whereever necessary or expedient. This redefinition is more in the nature of adding a few roles and widening the scope of certain others.

At the ICAI programme one of the participants asked me how I had defined my role towards my Employees especially the Articled Clerks. Actually, there was nothing in my Mission statement on this!

I assured her that I will address this issue later and thanked her for the input. As I kept contemplating on this, I relaized that the Role Goal statement I had crafted for my childrenn was almost the same as the one I would have for my employees in all the organizations that I run. My attitude towards employees is that of a benevolent despot. An indulgent parent who is not unduly strict but expects discipline and performance that is above average! Who always recognizes performance with Reward and Recognition. So, the Role I would like to play towards my employees is the same as that I would like to (and I hope I am) play with my children. I wish them well, I enable their performance and will reward achievement every time.

True Greatness

The quality of a life is a measure of the intensity of the impact of a person. True greatness is not about making an impact when we are there, but in continuing to make an Impact when we are no more.

Parenting

People who became parents in the sixties and seventies have no doubts or qualms about their abilities as parents or about their rights and expectations as such. They were entitled to be obeyed. Children had no choices then. You did what you were told. Sometimes you had options...like what colour to wear...and so on. “Parenting” was not a concept that people ever spoke about...except the rich...who could afford the psychiatrists, and, who needed them.

The children of the Sixties and Seventies, who are the parents of today are continuously in doubt about their “Parenting “ skills. They read books, attend seminars, try to spend “Value Time” with their children and end up becoming more confused.

It would be easy to brush away the whole concept of learning to be a parent as a non-starter. But, sometimes there is need to understand the issues before addressing them.

Here is a poem from “A handbook on Parenting” by Dr. C. S. Raju and Mr. T.V. Shivakumar, my good friend, fellow-trainer and authority on Parenting:

Tone of Voice

It is not what you say,

But the manner in which you say it;

It is not only the language you use,

But the tobne in which you convey it.

“Come here!” I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept;

“Come here” I said gently with a smile,

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair,

But the words may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air,

But the tone may break my heart.

Words come from the mind,

And grow by study and art;

But tone leaps from the inner self,

Revealing the state of the heart

For if you want behaviour to change,

Of this you must be aware;

More than words, it is the Tone of your voice

Which communicates how much you care.

Don’t you agree that this is a great advice not only in parenting but for every situation in life?

In High Places

I am ushering in Year Twenty Ten at Yercaud! I am at the Sterling Resorts Property. While Yercaud is not the top Hill Station destination i n the south, it does have its attractions. The Sterling Resorts property is quite cool. Situated next to the Ladies Seat view point, the balconies onevery unit in the resort provide a great view of the slopes of the hill. In fact, the resort is visible from the winding road climbing up to Yercaud.

I am sitting in the balcony of my room and looking down at a marvellous panorama spread out in the darkness below. I feel as if I am in outer space gazing down at the stars twinkling below like a handful of scintillating precious stones casually thrown on a dark velvet cloth. To the south, the city of Salem is outlined in lights. On my left, the headlights of cars climbing up the hill, shine bright and then dim as the vehicles take the twisting hairpin bends on the last leg of their climb.

This morning I saw clouds rising up from the valley li

ke shaving foam in a bowl and slowly moving up the hill to become wispy clouds above the sum

mits of the distant range of mountains.

Later, a couple of monkeys managed to squeeze in thr

ough our wind

o

ws and

took away a whole packet of Marie biscuits and Cheese! They, then, proceeded to feast on these goodies right in front of our eyes. My wife and daughter bemoaned the loss while my son

was more philosophical and asked them to console themselves by considering it an offering (albeit involuntary) to Hanumanji, the Monkey God.

I use these New Year Breaks to examine, Janus like, the past as well as the present. I present a personal Annual Report to myself! Why not? The purpose of an Annual Report is to take stock and move forward. New Years Day gives me this opportunity. So I prepare a report similar to that presented by Chairmen of Corporations to their Boards. I account for the past 365 days allotted to me and ask myself, what I had done to deserve being allowed to live for the next 365. Did I improve myself? My Family? My Organization? The community where I live?

Thereafter I prepare plans to bridge the gap between Goals and actual performance. This is the Execution Gap that Stephen Covey speaks about. Finally, a prayer to the Almighty for his support in converting these dreams to reality.

We spend the evenings strolling on the narrow roads around the resort. This evening, we went to the Raja Rajeswari Temple and thereafter to the Servaroyan Temple. The Temple, which is a cave shrine, on a windy plateau ,is dedicated to Servaroyan a local deity, who is considerd an incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the saviour.

Inspirational Leadership

People have become cynical all over the world. What is worse, they have accepted hypocrisy and falsehood as the legitimate and only route to leadership not only in the political arena but in every aspect of human endeavor. As the subject of this blog is not politics, I eschew that topic and rather dwell on the implication of this apathy to the growth and sustained development of Corporates and other organizations.

During the “India Shining” phase of our recent economic history, we preferred to be blind to the “Value of Values” as Swami Dayananda Saraswathi calls it. The result was that we crowned people as highly value based who were paying no more than lip service to truly invaluable values.

Both Swami Vivekananda and Swami Aurobindo Maharishi are of the confirmed view that personal liberation invariably precedes public success. It is, therefore, essentialthat we liberate ourselves before we embark on our journey to attain greater heights in our chosen field of accomplishment.

Inspirational Leadership is not something that you have; it is something that you already are. Yes! You are already an Inspirational Leader! At least, the potential for becoming one is already in you.

Have you seen a temple tank or lotus pond? In the centre of the serene water-filled area you will notice lotus flowers sticking out from between the disc like leaves. In the rainy season the tank will be brimming with water and the lotus flower would ride high on the water! The heights that anyone can achieve in their life, similarly, depend, not on birth, wealth or even education, but on their own innate enthusiasm and energy. The Divine poet Thiruvalluvar says...“The spirit of a man is the measure of his fortunes…” .

If this spirit of pure positive energy can be accessed and unleashed, you can achieve anything you want!

Inspirational Leadership is the art and science of tapping into that extraordinary vein of potential in you and converting it into extraordinary results for yourself, your family, your organization and finally the whole world!

Positive Attitude for Better Productivity

06.10.2008

My good friend and Mentor M Keshav, founder of MANTRA, is a regular training services provider for Bharat Petroleum Corporation Limited. He usually invites me to conduct portions of his workshops for BPCL executives at their Anna Nagar office complex. These are usually sessions on Financial Well Being. So it came as a pleasant surprise to me when he wanted me to conduct a session for an hour and a half at a workshop on “Positive Attitude for Better Productivity.”

When I entered the Training hall at the time appointed for my session to commence I found that the facilitator of the preceding session was going on at full swing! The speaker Mr. V Ranganathan, a HR trainer and voice-over artist had a conversational yet powerful style. One thing that stuck in my mind from his delivery was the point he made about procrastination. He said, “We do things at our own pace, but expect results to come rushing towards us!”

After this session, Keshav introduced me with his usual flair. Keshav made the point that he chose his co-trainers not only based on their talent as speakers, trainers and facilitators but also on their proven track record in practicing what they preach! Such words not only make us feel happy but also strengthen our resolve to continue walking our talk! In fact, I do not discuss the seven habits ever in my workshops! I just share all my experiences, hurdles and learnings while implementing the seven habits in my own life!

During this session, I could introduce the following concepts to the participants:

There are no problems in the lives of Positive Thinkers, only opportunities.
Positivity is not something outside which needs to be brought inside! It is the energy within us that needs to be channelized and used. The deep scripting that we have undergone in early childhood has coated this positivity with a cynical attitude that makes us question every new idea and reject it. Positive thinking ensures that this coating is removed. Nothing changes except the way we look at things!

I also suggested that we should look at a crisis as an opportunity for learning. A Manager is paid to take decisions not merely to list out problems continuously. When faced with a problem apply WWW?/WWW? technique.

The first “WWW?” is “What Went Wrong?”(Not World Wide Wrestling!) We don’t waste time blaming people. We simply search for the root cause for the problem and identify it. Having done that, we evolve Solution strategies that are workable. This is the next “WWW?” which is “What Will Work?”.

After that we proceed for implementation. Subsequently we review the implementation for necessary course correction. This is effectiveness in a nutshell!

Practical tips for Anger Management
Anger is one of the greatest of negative forces, arguably next only to jealousy. I shared my own experience in practical Anger Management. This is what I suggest you do when you feel that you are about to lose your cool:

Step 1
Sit down! When you lose your temper you stand up! So reverse the process. You cannot remain angry while sitting down. Research has consistently shown that different nerve groups are involved when we do something while standing up.

Step 2
Drink water! Remember, when your automobile’s engine is heats up you pour water to cool it. The same logic works here too. Water is the best coolant. It cools you down. A cool body leads to a cool mind that is ready to think rather than shout!

Step 3
Take a deep breath! This gives much needed oxygen to your brain. The brain is now clear and ready to function a little more dispassionately.

Actually these three steps are not sequential. You can perform them in any order, though I find that the order I’ve given is most convenient. It is easy to sit down. Then you can even ask for water. This would alert the other person that you are trying to avoid the conflict. Both of you get the interval needed to stop confrontation and explore a route towards collaboration!

During my session, I tried to infuse some pragmatism into my delivery. I concentrated on the practical approaches to invoking and converting the positive energy inherently present in all of us to perform more effectively on the job.