Thoughts on Communication

Communication is multi-layered and multi-dimensional. People express themselves in layers. At the top most layer of the discovery process are “facts.” Stuff we put into forms and documkents. Below this is slightly complex inteelectual sheath that shares thoughts and opinions. And finally you have an emotional ore feeling circle. Further thoughts are ometimes expressed verbally and expressly. Sometimes thoughts are not shared at all. Emotions too are suppressed totally in socially driven culture where what others think matters more than what we truly want to do.

Inspirational leaders continuously sharpen the saw and learn to hone their communication skills. They no longer see people and their communication as black and white; they are able to see rich color and 3D images that bring out the underlying thoughts and emotions. They are also able to detect suppressed emotions pretty fast and help the other party to articulate and express them. When the issue is out it becomes an object available for analysis and resolution.

Six Steps to Success

I delivered a speeech on "The Six Steps to Success" at the Sindhi Chamber of Commerce on 24th November 2010. This is a gist of the speech.

These thoughts are based on more than a decade of practice of and contemplation on the Seven Habits of highly Effective people. As I started implementing the 7 Habits in my life, things fell in place. My definition of success underwent subtle yet vital changes. Further contemplation and discussions with other eminent trainers, thinkers and corporate leaders has led me to formulate this action plan. As you will agree there are lot of theories and “instructions” on how to succeed. Most of these “self-help” books are written by arm-chair consultants who have not tested strength of their own theories on the anvil of experience and practice. Moreover, exhortations to think positive are invariably useless because after building up the positive energy, the direction is not there and the energy simply disappears. So, these six steps are a “how-to-do-manual” rather than a “what-is-it?” theory.

Share the Same Picture

Most of the time employers and employees are not on the same page. They are referring to different paradigms or perceptions. It is therefore necessary to listen and understand and thereafter clearly state what we expect from the other person so that he or she is crystal clear on her task.

Choose the Right Response

There are many ways in which we react to a situation. But, there is only one Right Response. The Right Response is that which helps you and the other person to achieve your goals in a sustainable way. It is not necessarily the obvious response. It may not be the easy response. But it is that single response that will build long term relationships while at the same time achieving short term needs-based goals. To choose the Right Response, we should not allow our emotional brain to take over. We should rather be slow to react, think and then choose those words or actions that are the most meaningful and productive in the circumstances.

Have a Bias for Action

All said and done, more is said than done! This step is the ultimate clarion call to action. The very same thoyght is expressed in Bhagwan Sree Krishna’s words in the Baghavad Gita: “Tasmath Yudyasva Bharatha!” –“Therefore, fight O son of Bharat!”. We are so busy weighing the pros and cons of an opportunity or crisis. In the mean time the opportunity is lost or the crisis becomes uncontrollable. So doing something is far better than sitting idle! We can always learn from our mistakes and ensure that the next time we get it right.

Make Every Minute Count

God has given us a great gift: Time! Everything happens in time. Time is indestructible, unending and irretrievable if lost. Money lost can be earned again. Every possession is replaceable or will bew seen ultimately as worthless. But we are doing now this moment is priceless. It is our only tangible possession! Thus, if we concentrate on the minutes the hours will take care of themselves. Successful people constantly review time usage and waste. What we are doing at any given point in time should either benefit our individual growth and development; or it should benefit our family; or it should benefit our organization; or it should be beneficial to society at large. Otherwise, why are we doing it! This is the simple approach to time management that goes beyond diaries and planners!

Inspire by Example

I was conducting a Mentoring program at a large corporation recently. During the sessions one thing that emerged from both Mentors and Mentees was that the Mentees look upon the Mentors as Role Models. The Mentors too accept that their true influence was when they demonstrated ideal behaviour. Advice was a waste. Anyone can give advice. Only leaders have the guts to follow their own advice! This is summed up by Mahatma Gandhi in his words: “My Life is my Message.” What message will our life communicate?

Embrace Change

From the late eighties onwards one word that dominated industry and commerce was “quality”. But the next two decades of the new millennium will give more emphasize on the word “innovation”. This does not mean quality will take a back seat. No way! But, quality is a given. The constantly increasing rate of change would mean that corporations and individuklas would need to constantly keep redefining themselves to succeed in a changing world. Otherwise we may be left stranded in the side lines of progress. So the right response here is to “embrace change” willingly and voluntarily rather than resist it or follow suit when others change. Those people who are at the cutting edge of change would definitely reap the rewards.

In conclusion, we can say that these six steps are cyclical. After reaching a certain level of success, we should embrace change and create a new vision. This vision should be shared with our teams and again we will start the journey to the next height! Let me conclude with the immortal words of Rabindranath Tagore and pray that in our country, “tireless striving will stretch its arms towards perfection!’

WIN/WIN--Analyzing the Consequences

23.06.2010

Sriram and I also had a discussion about the WIN/WIN thought process. Many proposals seem great at first flush. We see the obvious WIN for us in it. We try to convince ourselves and the other party that it is WIN for them too. And we claim it’s a WIN/WIN deal. Later when conflict breaks out it will be exactly in those areas that we refused or failed to address originally. Those issues that we brushedaway under the carpet will now rise up as insurmountable obstacles to completing the deal.

WIN/WIN is about analyzing the consequences and then the consequences of the consequences. After assuring ourselves of the long term sustainability of the WIN/WIN proposition we say “Deal!” If there is a possibility that the situation is likely to become LOSE/WIN or LOSE/LOSE it is better to say “WIN/WIN or No Deal!” politely shake hands with the other party and walk away!

Sharing knowledge is a great WIN/WIN! When you have one apple, I have one apple and we exchange both of us have only one apple each. But when you have one idea and I have one too, and we exchange, we have two ideas each.

Arjuna's Paradigm Shift

23.06.2010

I have been recommending the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People as propounded by Stephen R Covey to Mr. K Sriram executive taxation at Ma Foi. He has sincerely taken up a reading of the book. Today, while speaking to me, he expressed the view that after reading the first chapter of the book, he has experienced a Paradigm Shift. He was able to look at his long term goals and aspirations from a totally different perspective. I gave him some more inputs on this, especially about the Maturity Continuum and the need to internalize the private Victories that take us from Dependence to independence first. Thereafter we are ready to transition through Habits four, five and six to attain the Public Victories and thereby appreciate the need for Interdependence.

Sriram felt that the transformation that Arjun under goes around the middle of the second chapter is a Paradigm Shift. Arjuna’s problem or the Arjuna Problem as Swmi Chinmayanandaji calls it is typical and not essentially different from the problems of a professional or of an executive in a large corporation. Before we can even start the therapy or the Krishna Solution, there is a need for a shift in Paradigm from a self centric, money centric or even family centric one to the Principle Centric Paradigm. This is the Shreyas that Arjun asks of Krishna in Chapter II Verse 7 of The Gita. Do you notice that he is asking for that which is “Shreyas” or the “Best and Unalloyed Good”. Thus he is actually asking not only for himself but for all of us.

Tempered Steel

13.10.2010

Tenneco RC Hosur manufactures Ride controls. Ride Controls are our good old shock absorbers and struts when they are at home.. They also make emission controls (that’s silencers, exhaust pipes and mufflers.) But that’s not at Hosur.

Around the end of the second day, at the request of the participants, I spoke for a short while about “the Seven Habits.” I was describing the fifth habit and how it softens you and makes you more understanding, when a participant expressed a view that if you are too soft then people take advantage of you. I replied with my usual comparison with silk: soft outside, tough within.

Then, I compared seven habits practitioners with tempered steel, strong and flexible like the struts that Tenneco makes! Strong enough to absorb the shocks of driving over ruts and pot holes but flexible so that it doesn’t break!

Strength with flexibility seems to be the essential attitude that the constant practice of the seven habits induces. In this sense practicing seven habits is like constantly tempering ourselves.